Motherhood and apple pie is for sissies

I am about to be a father. All you need to know about that is I am going to get a lot tougher over the next couple of years. Mostly it is because we are going to have a son and I need to show him what being tough is all about. So here is what I am thinking about doing:

• Breaking a bunch of pink crayons in half

Pretty good list huh. I thought I might also get a gun, not because I know how to shoot it. I thought I might put it up on the wall in a plastic case and look at it daily for inspiration. I think I will give it a name as well. Gunner. That is its name. Or "Evil Slayer", also good. It will also be good if I ever have a girl. Then when boys show up I will invite them in and show them my gun. I won't say anything, just point, I am guessing that's enough.

I can already tell our son is going to be tough. Earlier today he was using her small intestine as a jump rope and working his boxing on her bladder. My guess is when the doctor weighs him he will be about 4 ounces less than he should be for his frame because he was cutting weight to get into a lower weight class. Yeah, he is going to be the great white hope.

Anyways, its going to be pretty cool to have a son. I always wanted a brother.

So I am probably going to refer to him as my broson. Something about one in the hand is worth two in the bush. By the way, who do you know who ever caught a bird in their hand, that would be pretty cool. I am guessing my son will probably do that.

So, for the update of the day, Rachel and I went to the MD today. She said that Rachel is the most beautiful pregnant person (men included) ever. I am embellishing. Also looks like things are getting closer and the little guy is probably coming next week. They say football is a game of inches, well pregnancy is one of centimeters, and we are one centimeter closer today.

We will keep you posted. No pun intended.

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